why it’s not your body that’s the problem—

-it’s the rules you’ve been taught to follow

Let me start with this: your body isn’t the problem.

I know that might be hard to believe. I’ve heard it time and again from women who are convinced that they just need to lose a little weight, firm this, slim that, or change something before they can start loving how they look.

The problem isn’t your body, though—it’s the relentless rules you’ve been taught to follow. Let’s talk about why that narrative exists and why it’s time to break free from it.

Diet Culture and the Myth of the “Perfect” Body

We live in a world obsessed with shrinking. Shrinking our bodies, our voices, our very presence. It’s no accident that the fashion industry has been built on the idea that you have to fit in—literally and figuratively.

The diet culture machine has spent decades selling us this idea that smaller is better, that thinness equals worthiness, and that you should spend your precious energy trying to "fix" your body.

It’s a multi-billion-dollar industry that profits off our insecurities, our comparisons, and the generational loops of low self-esteem that keep getting handed down like an heirloom.

Your mom, your grandmother—they were likely fed the same lie: “If only I were smaller, then I’d be beautiful. Then I’d be happy.” And it’s a lie that’s hard to shake because it’s woven into the very fabric of our culture.

Patriarchy and the Control of Female Expression

Here’s the thing: the obsession with fitting in, with trying to mold yourself into a specific image, is about more than just clothing size. It’s about control.

Patriarchy has long dictated what women should look like, how they should behave, and what’s considered beautiful. It’s no coincidence that when women start taking up more space in the world—through our voices, our careers, our ambitions—we’re simultaneously bombarded with messages telling us to take up less space physically.

The way you dress is an expression of who you are. When you’re told you need to change your body first, it’s really just another way of policing that expression. It’s a distraction—a way to keep you focused on your perceived flaws rather than your potential.

Hot take: mannequins are hangers, not blueprints for beauty

The Generational Loop of Low Self-Esteem

Let’s get real for a moment. How many of us grew up watching our moms criticize their own bodies in the mirror? How many of us have internalized that same critical gaze?

It’s a vicious cycle—one that we pass on without even realizing it. We pick up on the subtle (and not-so-subtle) cues that certain bodies are more valued than others, and we start to believe that our worth is tied to our appearance.

But what if we could break that cycle? What if we could stop this pattern right here and now, for ourselves and for the next generation?

The Real Problem Isn’t Your Body—It’s the Rules

Here’s the truth: your body isn’t holding you back from loving how you look. The rules are. The rules that say you need to be a certain size to wear bold colors. The rules that say you need to cover up parts of yourself to be "flattering." The rules that tell you to blend in rather than stand out.

These rules aren’t about your comfort or your happiness—they’re about conforming to someone else’s idea of what beauty looks like. And it’s time we stop playing by those rules.

Enter Style Elevator: Where You Get to Break All the Rules

This is where the work we do in Style Elevator begins. It’s not just about clothes—it’s about reclaiming your power. It’s about discovering your authentic style DNA and learning how to dress in a way that honors your actual body, not the body you’ve been conditioned to believe you need.

In Style Elevator, we use my Style Biology Method to cut through the noise of diet culture and outdated style rules. We focus on your colors, your fit, and your unique style DNA to build a wardrobe that celebrates you as you are right now.

It’s a place where you get to take up space unapologetically, express yourself freely, and start loving what you see in the mirror—not because you changed your body, but because you changed the way you relate to it.

The Bottom Line: It’s Time to Take Up Space

So here’s my invitation to you: Let’s flip the script. Let’s stop trying to shrink and instead start expanding—your self-expression, your style, your confidence. It’s not your body that’s been standing in the way of loving how you look. It’s the rules you’ve been taught to follow. And those rules? They’re not yours to keep.

Ready to break the mold? I’m here for you every step of the way. Join me in the Style Elevator, and let’s rewrite the rules together. Because it’s time for you to show up, take up space, and own your style like never before.